The title could also vary: ” How to kindly ask the children to fix their things “. Yes, because in reality the secret to inculcate the order of children lies in the way we ask it (in addition to the example we give and family habits).
Every parent knows: the phrase ” put back ” is practically the order of the day. Every morning, every afternoon and every evening we find ourselves having to ask our children to tidy up their things, which seem to invade the house. And even if disorder is part of family life (it is a sign of life!), Even teaching organization and order is important, otherwise, like when there is no routine, chaos takes over , externally and internally. Yes, because order is also a mental matter!
So how can we teach children to be ordered with serenity and without losing their temper? Here are our tips.
How to teach children to be ordained: tips to make children organized and organized without losing patience
But how can we not lose patience when we stumble over a brick and scream in pain? How can you not lose your temper when pastels seem like a carpet? How to keep control when every morning a hurricane seems to have passed in the room? The answer is simple: constancy is needed to teach children to be ordained.
Also because frustration and anger usually lead to nothing . We must therefore try to make some tricks and teachings habitual, take time and gradually teach the children the order, which is fundamental for growth, since together with it children learn responsibility, respect and calm .
What we have to do is simple, but we must commit ourselves: like all education, this teaching must also be based on kindness, respect and dialogue. And this must also be achieved physically : first of all, therefore, it is good to approach children and not to shout from a distance what they have to do . When I’m in the bedroom and they have to fix it, they don’t scream from the kitchen: let’s go in, look them in the eye (because eye contact is important to establish a relationship of respect, trust and equality!) And we ask them to reorder. In this way it will be more difficult for them to ignore us. Even if they are focused on playing, reading or doing what is keeping them busy.
Sometimes, then, clarity is important: especially when we are teaching them to rearrange, we do not use generic phrases such as “put in place” or “system”, but we indicate how, for example, by saying “Please put the toys in their basket in courtesy” , or “can you put folded clothes in the closet?”
Doing one thing at a time , then, is very useful: by focusing on what they have to do first and then explaining each time the next reorganization activities, the children will feel less overwhelmed.
And even if it is difficult, it is always better not to scream or scold , but to use an encouraging and trusting voice, to make the child understand that we trust, that we are giving him confidence and that we know he will be able to live up to his responsibilities (because he will understand just this: that putting his things in order is his responsibility, as everyone in the house has his own).
Finally, let us not lose patience and focus on what is wrong. Like any routine and habit, even the reorganization is achieved gradually. Also for this reason, children will be more inclined to take this habit if we do not constantly remind them of what they do wrong (like when we tell them, for example, “better than put in place OK, not like yesterday that you left a mess”, or ” you say that today you will be able to put everything in your backpack? Yesterday at school you missed that book “).
If you need more advice, we can recommend this book: ” The art of teaching children reorganization “, by Nagisa Tatsumi, which shows the reorganization both a process for children because they do not know what it means until someone teaches them. In the book, therefore, you will find really effective practical tips to convey the importance of this activity to children (from those of 3 years up to adolescents), focusing also on the importance of the bedroom as a space of creativity and self-expression .